Monthly Archive for May, 2008

You Want This, Don’t You?

Published
by
The Fake Gimel Martinez
on May 22, 2008
in Billy: Year Two, BillyClyding, Recruiting and The Internets and eBays
. 1 Comment

Hello, Internet! Here is a picture of new UK 2008 Recruit Josh Harrellson, provided by the sensuous Matt Jones:

Josh Harrellson is STRONG like UKRAINE!
Josh Harrellson is STRONG like UKRAINE!

I’m sure some Wildcat Fans are clinching their assholes as we speak. We’ll have the usual overcritical analysis towards Harrellson for taking the picture and towards Jones for posting the picture. And we’ll have the typical “gaaaay” reaction from Wildcat fans and rivals.

The latter remark — that throwaway semi-offensive exclamation that my young generation throws around without remorse — makes me giggle. After all, a majority of Wildcat fans are currently extremely focused on the decisions and fitness of young men aged 15 through 20. We encourage and pay older men who specialize in watching these young athletes run, and evaluate their physicality. We celebrate the young man’s commitment to our cause, and look forward to seeing the young man in our clothing.

Oh, right! We’re not interested in these young men sexually. Whew! I was a little worried there.

Anyhoo, Josh’s picture is one of many that have gotten sucked off his Facebook or MySpace account. (Honestly, I’m not sure which.) I’m not entirely for sure if Josh cares that Matt Jones is posting these goofy photos. Earlier today, Matt wrote a diatribe about how he’s not looking to dive too deeply into the lives of potential and committed recruits:

While I understand the desire to have these interviews, after speaking with some families of players who actually came to Kentucky, I think the recruiting gurus (myself included in the past) go a bit overboard with them. While the families seem not to mind some interviews, the UK internet media takes it too far and every family I spoke with this season said it became a hassle quickly. Because of that, I have decided not to contribute to that mess of interviews any more than I have to for the radio show and this site. I think that is best for those families involved and while it may lead to a bit less news from this particular site, if all followed suit, it also leads to a lot less hassle for the players and their parents.

Note: Bold text above originally in Matt’s article.

So if Josh is okay for these pictures to be out and about, then I feel okay sharing in the joy that the picture displays. A young man — who’s led a blessed life as an athlete good enough to advance his way into a major basketball program — that is also a young man who’s blessed to have friends. He’s making a goofy photo that most young adults his age put up on the Internet or within a social networking site like Facebook. Just because now that he’s a Wildcat makes the photo any more or less shameful, stupid, or gay.

(For the record: Photo of you smiling goofy with your buddy is just fine, if you’re fine with the Internet never forgetting. Photos of you jumping off a frat house balcony into a pool? A little less fine. Not a wise way to show your team’s fanbase that, even though you are so HARD-WORKING and DEDICATED to basketball, you blow off steam like some other risk-taking young adults your age.)

However I’m sure Wildcat fans would prefer pictures — and video, now that we’ve broadband-ed up in the Bluegrass State and beyond — of Josh not at play, but at work. Springing up towards the basket in lay-up drills. Diving at loose balls. Draining each and every jumper.

Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.

(Time for a “Fake Gimel Gets Real” Moment. If you can’t tell that I’m working common homosexual prejudices for humor’s sake, and humor’s sake alone, then you may want to find another blog to read. All due respect is given to Wildcat fans of all sexual orientations, Josh & Matt.)

Bring the Shame or Shut Up: Learnin’ Edition

Published
by
The Fake Gimel Martinez
on May 19, 2008
in Billy: Year One, Fake Gimel give Real Truth, Non-Basketball Stuff and Rumors
. 2 Comments

The first and last time I will use this image.

Don’t ya get sick of seeing the image on the left?

Every time you read a rumor on the Internet about Coach Gillispie’s personal life, you end up having somebody post this image. When the Wildcats lost four-in-a-row, you couldn’t go anywhere on the Internet and not stumble upon a rival fan (or a spurned Aggie fan) posting the image. I’m sick of it. I’m sure Coach Gillispie wants to vomit every time he’s linked or emailed it.

Unfortunately, I don’t think it’ll ever go away. The Internet never forgets.

Mark Story’s piece on the rumors that swelled around Coach Gillispie speculates that the rumors probably stemmed from his past DUI charges:

At the news conference in which he was introduced as Tubby Smith’s successor, Gillispie publicly acknowledged that he had had a pair of alcohol-related traffic arrests in the seven years before his hiring at UK (one was pleaded down to a lesser charge, and the other was dismissed for lack of evidence).

The 48-year-old coach is divorced.

Those two factors seemed to make speculating on the new coach’s personal life a statewide obsession. …

By December, when Gillispie’s first UK team was struggling mightily and the mood surrounding the program was surly, rumors about the coach were rampant. Callers to Lexington sports talk radio shows were mentioning them without challenge. The talk was pervasive all around the state.

So take a coach’s multiple public mistakes. (I mean the DWIs here, not the divorce.) Throw that into a cauldron full of rabid basketball fans that are already boiling over due to the previous coaching regime. Throw in some good ole Kentucky oneupmanship and speculation. Don’t forget to add some anonymous assholery from the Internet — but not too much, a dash will do ya. Mmmm, smell that? That’s some sweet Bullshit Burgoo, just like Pappy used to make!

Mark Story’s article tries to verify most of the bigger rumors that were cookin’ late last year. All addressed rumors were rebuffed. (I didn’t see the “Billy Behaves Badly Because He Has A Nineteen-Year-Old Girlfriend” rumor, but that might had been a split from the “Billy Behaved Badly At Merrick Inn’s Pool” rumor.) Of course, having the Merrick Inn owner or Chief Beatty publicly rebuke the rumor won’t matter to whoever told you about it:

Misty Carlisle, general manager at DeSha’s, says, “I can promise you that story is absolutely untrue. Yet I have customers come in here arguing with me, that they know it’s true.

What’s more important is the telling of the rumor, and the glorification that comes from it. Some of us Wildcat fans want to be program insiders in order to elevate us socially among other fans. That’s why we have roughly a thousand recruiting “experts” running around on message boards and blogs touting the inside information they have.

Don’t take me as a fool — I’m not blinded by the printed word of newspaper or press release. Of course Misty Carlisle is going to say the rumor is untrue; she doesn’t want a Big Blue Boycott by the now-swelling “Yay Gillispie” crowd! Of course President Todd is going to get Gillispie’s back and cooperate with a positive Herald-Leader write-up of the coach. It might be collusion, or it might not; just because the Herald-Leader or any other paper writes something doesn’t make it 100% true.

But you can’t fool Dr. Todd:

Says Todd: “One thing Mitch said to me when some of this discussion was going on, with everyone walking around with a cell phone with a camera in their pocket, if this stuff was going on, it would be on YouTube or whatever. And it never was.”

Thanks, Mr. Barnhart, for reading our humble site. Let’s do lunch this week; I have some grand ideas about basketball promotions for next year. Just as a teaser, let me share with you this: For the intro movie for Big Blue Madness, lets recreate the end credits of Tombstone with Billy and the kids. Rupp will EXPLODE!

(Hey Mitch, did you notice that I didn’t use the Tombstone “Hell’s coming with me!” scene? That’s because I know you’re a religious man, and you wouldn’t want Hell coming with anything to do with UK. See, I’m quite the sharp tack! How about we meet upstairs at Joe Bologna’s with your media crew?)

As the Big Blue Nation transitions into “Billy: Year Two” by starting to count down these tacky summer days, I know that the rumor mill will start churning up. We’ll probably get our first “Billy Behaving Badly On The Golf Course” tale, which will involve a young co-ed driving the drink cart. There might be a few more sprouting up by the time students head back to school in the fall. Just because I know what I’m reading or hearing is at least 75% bullshit doesn’t make it any more enjoyable.

So the tall tale will be told. Then that damned DWI image will show up again. The Internet never forgets.

Bring On Da Villians!

Published
by
The Fake Gimel Martinez
on May 10, 2008
in Former BMOC and The Internets and eBays
. 3 Comments

Drat! And Double Drat! Hee hee hee hee!

A few weeks ago, I mentioned the following over at the now-mega-modernized ASoB:

Finally, a point of discussion for you Wildcat faithful. From all accounts, the new Barnstorming Event is going along swimmingly. From what little I’ve gathered, Louisville doesn’t offer the same kind of fare-the-well tour for its basketball seniors. Which is kinda sad; who wouldn’t want to boo David Padgett one last time, for old times sake?

Would it be too much to ask to try and schedule a Barnstorming event that included the UL players? You could have it held in Louisville, and have the old foes battle back and forth for a half. Then bring in the regional all-stars and combine the UK and UL teams. (Now that’s a scary thought, huh?)

And why limit it to just Louisville players? How about bringing in Courtney Lee and the rest of the great WKU seniors for a stop near Bowling Green? That would make each event unique for the region and promote the state of Kentucky as the state that loves basketball. I think the Barnstorming basketball spotlight is big enough to share with all our in-state players.

The very few comments I received concerning opening up the Barnstorming event to non-UK players were negative. One of the comments mentioned that Louisville or other players shouldn’t be in an event that is promoting the University of Kentucky. But, in actuality, the Barnstorming tour really has nothing to do officially with the University. From C-J’s Brett Dawson:

If Bradley and Crawford had their way, current Cats would be making the trip as well. NCAA rules prohibit that — UK can’t be involved in any official capacity — but Bradley and Crawford said the perspective they’ve gleaned through the barnstorming tour would serve any player well.

In all truthfulness, this Barnstorming fare-thee-well tour is a good way to let former players like Joe and Ramel to make a little money. There’s no harm in that. After cheering for them for 4 years, I think I lot of us consider them part of the Wildcat family. And like real families, you always have to send even the most distantly-related graduating seniors some sort of gift. I mean, what will your Momma think if she heard you didn’t help the family?

I would pay money to see Woo defend Louisville’s David Padgett. (Remember, Woo claimed to own Louisville during his tenure at UK!) I’m sure there would be tons of Louisville fans who would pay to see their senior heroes get together for one last stab at the UK Seniors.

I’m not Matt Jones, who’s helping run the event. But if I was, and if I made the UK/UL Barnstorming Brew-ha-ha, I would force the autograph session to include UK and UL players. So everybody gets a few autographs they wish they could Windex off. That would be delightfully EEEE-vil!

Two Men Enter! One Man Leaves!

Published
by
The Fake Gimel Martinez
on May 8, 2008
in Billy Clyde News, Fake Gimel give Real Truth, Recruiting, Rumors and The Internets and eBays
. 5 Comments

Whoops! Are we back? Possibly. Sorry for the lack of updates, but some real life issues benched me for the remainder of Billy: Year One.
Oh, Auntie...

When the season’s over, I suppose its time to pick up the old battles. This weeks entertainment: Jerry “Master Blaster” Tipton vs. “Mad” Marc Maggard! Remember no deals can be broken!

This is battle numero 57 (approximately) in the Tipton is Trying to Hurt UK Fan Wars. This time, Jerry interviewed the parents of our new recruits Vinny Zollo and Michael Avery. In follow-up interviews conducted by Kentucky Ink’s Marc Maggard, the parents admit feeling uncomfortable with some of Tipton’s questions, which Marc labels in the shows’ notes that Tipton exposes his anti-UK feelings.

The ire of the Wildcat Nation was awoken, which prompted Lexington Herald-Leader Editor Linda Austin to blog about an investigation into Tipton’s interviews. Tru at A Sea of Blue wrote up what he thought of the whole deal, which caused Marc to post his displeasure in the Kentucky Ink forums on Tru’s thoughts. (Remember, Tru has called Tipton a “Negative Ninny” in the past.)

Editor Austin reviewed Tipton’s notes and a recording of his call with Mr. Howard Avery (Michael’s father), and stated that Tipton asked professional and worthy questions in those interviews. But what about the “Bigger Ass” statement that was allegedly said? In her interview with Maggard, Zollo’s mother (Robin Curry) either quoted or paraphrased — its not clear in the interview — an example of Tipton’s negative questioning:

Your son is leaving one school because his coach is an ass, but he going to play for Gillispie, who is a bigger ass, how are you going to deal with that?

Linda Austin addressed that question in her blog post:

After Mrs. Curry mentioned her concerns about the methods of her son’s high school coach, Jerry asked her about Coach Gillispie’s widely reported “tough love” style of coaching.

Where’s the ass! The Wildcat Nation DEMANDS TO KNOW!!! Maybe Editor Austin was not privy to the ass. She writes, “I went through Jerry’s notes of his conversation with Robyn Curry, mother of recruit Vinny Zollo, question by question.” Which means Jerry didn’t provide or/and didn’t have a recording of his interview with Mrs. Curry.

Honestly, I don’t blame Mrs. Curry or Mr. Avery for feeling uncomfortable with some of Jerry’s questions; their sons are just 15! I would want to protect my young son from the pressures exerted by the media and a rabid fanbase such as ours. “Look at Little Fake Gimel, you’re SHOOTING THE BALL WRONG! GO BREAK YOUR NOSE LIKE YOUR DADDY!”

But I honestly don’t think anything a reporter or interviewer asks should be concerned about the comfort level of the interviewee. If we get into making rules what can and cannot be asked, we are not living in a Free Speech society — and I’m sure some people feel like we’re already there. I don’t subscribe to the “Sports Journalism should be turned into Entertainment Journalism” that some folks seem to be pushing. I believe strongly that there should be serious journalism coverage of sports programs, and there should be pro-program writing, fan writing, and a place to put up pictures of athletes doing dumb things in public.

I do not put much faith in Austin’s investigation. Austin was unable to access the full transcript of Tipton’s call with Mrs. Curry, and she cannot give us any assurance that Tipton’s questioning was proper. And to be quite honest, comparing a college coach to a high-school coach as a “Bigger Ass” crosses a line of journalistic objectivity, regardless of context. However, as mentioned above, I am not for sure if Mrs. Curry quoted Tipton calling Gillispie a “Bigger Ass”, or if she paraphrased his question and added the language. Without clarification, we have no proof that Tipton crossed the line.

Outside of the “Bigger Ass”, Mrs. Curry and Mr. Avery did not mention anything that I felt was inappropriate questions for a parent of a 15-year-old child who verbally committed to UK. In the Kentucky Ink forums, Maggard points to Tipton’s previous negative writing and several off-the-record comments he has from other persons. I agree that Tipton has been caught in Negative Ninny mode once too often in the past. Because of that, he will forever be labeled by many in the Big Blue Nation as “the UK Beat Reporter who dislikes UK/Gillispie/winning basketball/etc.”

But I cannot blindly accept Maggard’s claim of more “off-the-record” information as the catalyst that Tipton has somehow turned into “UK Enemy #1″. I don’t see what Jerry Tipton could write or say that would adversely affect a student’s decision to attend UK. Maggard is clearly the expert in recruiting, but he has not claimed that Tipton’s writing has swayed a recruit away from choosing Kentucky. So I’m not for sure how Tipton is an enemy of anything.

Also, Maggard is wanting us to believe him and his “off-the-record” sources. I deeply respect what Maggard does at Kentucky Ink — and a little envious, since he focuses the majority of his life on Kentucky Basketball and gets paid for it. I admit that he has more inside information than I do. (At least until I install the wireless web cam inside the men’s practice gym. Pay no attention to the man behind the padding!)

However, until his information can be confirmed and on-record, its value holds nothing for me. I took Seth Davis to task for publishing an anonymous rumor about Patrick Patterson considering leaving for the NBA. In this day and age of Internet rumormongering and one-off anonymous reporting, I refuse to believe any off-the-record comment until it is on-record.

And until Tipton does something on-record that betrays his supposed disloyalty, there is no chance of any fan petition or advertiser boycott will work. But hopefully this issue provided the Herald-Leader with discussion on what stories involving new recruits — especially those as young as Zollo and Avery — should entail.

More may be revealed by Mad Marc in the future. Will it be enough to conquer Master Blaster? And why are we worried about the supposed bias of Jerry Tipton instead of celebrating our early recruiting victories? Are we all getting so sick of the “Gillispie spotted in my kid’s preschool” jokes that we must resort to watching this battle in the Thunderdome?

Update May 12th:If Marc is “Mad”, then I’m just plain dumb. I accidentally misspelled his last name as “Maggart”, which was not intentional nor meant as any disrespect. All the misspelling seem to be corrected now. Sorry, Marc!